


I Guess We Never Really Moved On

by holyroller



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Period Typical Attitudes, Period-Typical Homophobia, Requited Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 09:51:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12340329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holyroller/pseuds/holyroller
Summary: Because that's what you do, right?You drop everything, warmth and all, to go climb into the arms of a cold old flame.





	I Guess We Never Really Moved On

**Author's Note:**

> A little thing because I heard Hinder's _Lips of an Angel_ today and could Not Stop Thinking about this.
> 
> Dedicated to my friend jess because i both love her and hate her for getting me into hbo war. 
> 
> i haven't re-read this so if there's anything weird please feel free to let me know. enjoy!

Sometimes he dreams. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad. The good dreams tend to be of Austria and its scenery, the trip home. Things that leave him with a warm feeling at the pit of his stomach when he wakes up tangled in silk sheets wrapped around the slender frame of the most caring, compassionate, and wonderful woman he’s ever met. 

Her name is Jackie and she has long brown hair that shines in the sun. Her smile reaches her eyes when she listens to him talk about Easy company. She wakes him from the bad dreams and reminds him that he’s no longer required to look out for an entire platoon as gently as she can in the middle of the night. 

She’s amazing, for lack of a better word. And he’s absolutely positive he would be in love with her had they met at any other time. 

A loud ringing coming from the living room shakes him from the Austrian countryside and she mutters something, turning away from him. He takes a deep breath before forcing himself to sit up, running a hand through his messy head of hair.

“I’ll get it,” his voice rings through the room, the words dissipating as quickly as they were said. He looks out the window and doesn’t need to check the time to know. 0500. The sun hasn’t risen yet.

He steps through the hall, following the ringing up until he reaches the source. He picks up the receiver and puts it to his ear. He mutters a sleepy, “Hello?”

“Dick,” comes the voice on the other end. It’s pained, raspy, drunk.

Dick rubs his eyes with his free hand, the warm feeling from the dream pooling back into his stomach. He responds, his tone gentle, “Have you slept at all?” 

“Yeah. I think so.”

Dick sighs, not out of discontent but out of inability to do anything. He leans against the wall as he responds, “You should get some sleep.”

“I will. I just- I wanna see you.”

“Nix,” Dick sinks against the wall, his back sliding down until he hits the floor and lands in a seated position, “I can’t just- you know.”

“Yeah,” Nix’s attempt to sound impartial fails, even over the static-y telephone line. 

Dick runs a hand over his face. He thinks of the woman who’d marry him in a heartbeat, lying in the warm bed in the other room waiting for him to get back. He thinks of an old flame, sitting alone in an apartment with no heater with a bottle as his only companion.

They sit in silence for a total of ten seconds.

“Don’t go anywhere,” Dick says quickly into the receiver. He hangs up before Nix can say anything after his breathy laugh.

The trip back into the bedroom after he brushes his teeth and hair is long. Everything feels off as he stops in front of the closet door. It opens with a loud whine and he cringes at the sound. His hands pull a jacket off of a hanger when he hears her voice from behind him. She speaks softly, as warm as the sheets that are still waiting for him.

“Where are you going?”

He shuts his eyes, holding onto the jacket. He can’t lie to her. He swallows before replying, “It was Lew.”

“He’s been having a really hard time adjusting, hasn’t he?” she responds. He can hear her shift around the sheets. He still doesn’t turn back at her as he slips the jacket over the white t-shirt he sleeps in and reaches for a hanging pair of pants.

“Yeah,” he says, slipping into them.

“You’re a good friend,” she says, “if any of my friends called me this early I’d chew them out,” she laughs softly. He thinks it should be enough to convince him to stay. 

“I’ll be back,” he says after a quiet moment. He doesn’t look at what he’s leaving behind as he makes his way through the house and onto the nearly freezing weather outside. Nix doesn’t live that far away, but the couple of empty blocks that Dick crosses span on longer than they have any right to. 

His hand grips the apartment building’s frozen handle and it takes him a few attempts at getting it unstuck. His hand is stuck for a few seconds after. He hisses as he gets it unstuck and makes his way up the staircase, passing the OUT OF SERVICE sign on the elevator. 

He’s warmed up enough by the time he reaches the sixth floor. He counts the doors and stops at the one he thinks is 604. The faded numbers on the doors don’t help, but he knocks anyway. He hears stumbling on the other side and worry sets in his stomach. 

The door opens and he meets Nix’s tired eyes for a moment before getting yanked inside. Nix’s cold hands reach inside his jacket, seeking warmth and Dick lets himself get lost in the smell of cologne and cold wood. He comes to when he smells the alcohol in Nix’s breath. 

He opens his mouth to say something, to try and do his part in helping the addiction that’s only seemed to get worse since they got back, but the feeling of now-warm hands on the back of his neck and chapped lips on his own render him unable to.

The little voice in his head telling him to pull away, to say something about it all is overpowered by the feeling that pools in his stomach when Nix’s hands rise to play with his hair. Dick leans into the kiss. His own hands rising to hold the sides of Nix’s face, allowing himself the pleasure. They move slowly, tenderly, loving.

When they do pull apart, Nix lets himself fall forward, burying his cold face in Dick’s neck. There’s a moment of silence. Dick lets his hands wander over Nix’s shoulders. 

Only then does he find his words.

“You need to find a way to help yourself,” Dick whispers as he looks around at the messy apartment. It’s renovated, nice, borderline luxurious. But, it also looks like it hasn’t been cleaned since Nix moved in. There are dishes stacked in the sink behind a counter and there's a mess of blankets on the couch littered with empty bottles. 

“That’s why I got you,” Nix mutters into his neck. The warmth sends a shiver down Dick’s spine.

“That’s not enough. I mean- something to stop you from doing this to yourself,” Dick says, pushing Nix out as gently as he can. He meets the man’s eyes, dark underneath the lack of internal light. 

“I don’t have a death wish, Dick,” Nix frowns, stepping towards the couch in the apartment’s living room. Dick follows. Nix sits down and finishes his sentence, “you can stop acting like I’m going to go crazy.”

Dick frowns. He doesn’t know how else to push it. He sits down at the edge of the couch, unbothered by the fact that as soon as he does, Nix rests his head in his lap with one of the blankets. Dick’s hands run through Nix’s cold hair, trying to find another way to bring it up.

“I don’t know how you’re planning on getting re-married like this,” Dick tries. He feels Nix laugh against his knee.

“I think it’s more than obvious that I’m probably not going to be married anytime soon,” comes the muffled reply. Dick frowns, not sure if he’s referring to the alcohol or to what just happened moments ago.

Before Dick can say anything else, Nix cuts him off, “You should, though. I think you’d be great with little Winters running around.”

Something inside Dick sinks into his stomach. He doesn’t reply. Nix continues.

“You thinking of asking her yet?” Nix shifts so he’s looking up at Dick.

“I don’t know,” Dick answers honestly, fingers twirling the short locks of hair around. He doesn’t look down.

“I think you should. At least, before I change my mind and decide to not let you go.”

Dick looks down, fully expecting the small smirk he meets. He can’t help but smile back, a slight look of disbelief on his face as he shakes it. 

“You know that what we-”

“Yeah,” Nix cuts him off again sharply. His tone is no longer playful as he speaks, “I know.”

An awkward silence falls upon them and Nix shifts again, facing the doorway now. He speaks softly, “Regardless, thank you for coming.”

Dick’s immediate response is: Of course. Anything for you. What comes out of his mouth is, “don’t mention it.”

They sit in a calmer silence for a longer while. Dick’s hands roam from Nix’s hair to the side of his face, down to his shoulder. Dick lets his head rest against the couch and he lets his eyes fall shut for a second. A hand moves to rest on his knee and Dick’s own hand moves over it for a moment. Nix raises his hand, turning it and allowing their fingers to intertwine for a few moments. 

The words left unsaid as the sun comes through the window in the living room don’t need to be said, Dick thinks as he sinks further into the couch. His eyes are still shut. After a few more moments he feels Nix’s weight move, only to come back heavier as he fully rests his back against Dick’s side, with his head on Dick’s shoulder.  
Dick moves his arm out, allowing Nix to adjust himself better. Dick’s mind settles on how well they fit together. He doesn’t think they should, but long nights in France remind him otherwise. Sleep comes back to him in waves until fully overtaking his consciousness. 

He dreams again, but instead of Austrian landscapes and the warm sun, he dreams of Austrian nights and the feeling of Nix pressed against him.


End file.
